Missing Chastity. Never thought I would be the one saying that. Things have taken a different focus at the Jnuts/Belle household the last few months, and I am not sure how I feel about it. We have been focusing on toy reviews, which has actually been a ton of fun for me. Writing the reviews and organzing the other reviewers and their posts have given me something to focus on other than being Mommy to 2 very busy and messy toddlers. Jnuts has been having at least an orgasm a week, mostly because of a toy that needs reviewed. He always asks if he allowed, but it isn’t the same. He also isn’t locked.
I am missing the cage. There I said it. I have become that person. I miss the power, the knowledge that his cock is locked in a cage and I have the key. For us the cage is symbolic, as I know that when he says he doesn’t touch himself without my knowledge that he means it. Yet somehow it has become important to me. I don’t want it to be an all the time thing (at least I don’t think I do). But I do miss it. I miss knowing that he has a constant, steel reminder of me all day at work. I miss knowing that he thinks of me every time he sits down or that he is willing to sit down to pee just to make me happy.
So I guess I know the answer to the question that I asked myself when all this started. It is a part of who I am now, who we are. Chastity has changed my thinking of myself, my husband, and our relationship. For the better. I don’t want it to end.
Belle
5 comments
1 ping
mikecb says:
February 7, 2012 at 7:16 am (UTC -4 )
It sounds like a win/win here. Do you sense yourself fighting it for some reason? I think he’s been hoping you’d become “that person” all along! Most of us on the “wearing” side do.
Why not just go with the flow?
key4belle says:
February 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm (UTC -4 )
I’m not fighting it at all. Actually glad to know for sure where I stand on the whole thing. With everything going on in our lives right now he hasnt’t shown much interest in MC, so I wasn’t sure where he stood.
appy says:
February 7, 2012 at 8:49 am (UTC -4 )
I wonder why don’t you just lock him up again? Does he resist it? Did you talk about your desire?
appy
key4belle says:
February 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm (UTC -4 )
As usual I used the blog to jump start the conversation
. He locked back up this morning. Can’t get over the fear he is only doing it for me. (How’s that for a role reversal!).
Belle
mikecb says:
February 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm (UTC -4 )
lol. Perfect role reversal!
Enjoy!
Interview # 9 « Tales of a Domme says:
March 18, 2012 at 3:05 am (UTC -4 )
[...] now they review toys too . Belle’s journey from “very vanilla” (her words) to enjoying having a lock on her husband’s rod and tackle is good reading. She, like many of us, doesn’t feel well-represented in the kinky community. [...]